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November 6, 2018

Currently: October 2018

 

Currently: October 2018 on Shutterbean.com

Currently October 2018

This month was punctuated by two weddings (one in Santa Fe and one in Pebble Beach!) and COOPER TURNING 10!  Whew!!

My Everyday Life: Week 40 on Shutterbean.com

October felt like a lot all at once.  October brought up a lot of feelings, that’s for sure.

October was my 11th month without my Mom.  A lot is being stirred up again as we make Thanksgiving plans. My Mom’s own mom died on Halloween and my mom was the same exact age I was when her mother died- 38. I remember where I was sitting in my house when my Mom told me the news about her Mom. We were about to go trick-or-treating and she was crying.  Memories come back when you least expect it and this Autumn it’s happening more than ever as I feel my Mom’s spirit with me.

I know that November is going to have ups and downs as I move through the first year of grief. I’ve learned so much about myself and my family through the process.

 

Inspired By:

Travel. I’ll always say this as long as I get away from home. It’s always good to get a fresh perspective on a new place.

Nothing will make you realize how much you love being in the comfort of your own home, when you’re not.

My Everyday Life: Week 41 on Shutterbean.com

Traveling is also good for my creative brain. I like taking pictures of new experiences.

My Everyday Life: Week 41 on Shutterbean.com

The light during Autumn is my favorite.

My Everyday Life: Week 44 on Shutterbean.com

We spent a lot of time with Casey’s family this month. It was nice to have quality time with all of them. I miss it when we all lived so close.

Watching:

We watched/finished Maniac (so good! messed with my dreams/real thought provoking)

We’ve been watching the Nineties series (CNN series on Netflix)- I’ve been enjoying reliving my childhood with an adult lens with this series. We watched all of the previous decades and now that I remember more of the 90s than 80s, it’s nuts.

 

Reading:

One Pan, Whole Family– need some simple dinner inspiration! I’m in a rut!

Cooking Scrappy– this one is really cool! I love how he wastes nothing in the kitchen.

Season – I’m excited to buy some new spices and make something new from here!

Now and Again – I love the menu format and all of the ideas and possibilities with leftovers!

Cook like a Pro- picked this one up at Costco because it reminded me of my Mom

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told– I love them. They kinda remind me of me and Casey.

How to Break up With your Phone–  If you need to find a better relationship with your phone, this book HELPS.

 

Thinking About:

This time last year I had a Mom.

This was the last Currently post she ever read from me.

She always wanted to be my friend. My blog helped make that happen. I miss my biggest cheerleader.

 

Listening To:

This month I’ve been listening to Fashion Nugget by Cake. It all started because Cooper and I were playing with CDs in my car (yes! I’ve got a CD player in my car!) and I found an old  Cake CD.

 

Dream Life:

This month I’ve been practicing lucid dreaming. I read an article in Lion’s Roar about it.

Coincidentally, my cats have been waking me up during the night and it’s helping!

I had one dream about my Mom this month. She was getting out of a car. It was red. That’s all I remember.

And I think I’m dreaming that I’m in high school again but I’m a teacher?

 

Eating/Drinking:

Been adding hot tea into the mix these days.

It’s been a good reset for my brain. We had family over and instead of drinking alcohol, I made everyone tea!

My Everyday Life: Week 44 on Shutterbean.com

This month I really enjoyed making Beet Salad with Poppy Seed & Chive Dressing.

Beet Salad with Poppy Seed and Chive Dressing is a great addition to your Fall & Winter menu! Recipe on Shutterbean.com

Instant Pot Applesauce has gone into my meal prep rotation this week!

When life gives you too many apples, make Instant Pot Applesauce. It's a great addition to your meal prep arsenal. Recipe on Shutterbean.com!

Everyday Pancakes for sleepovers!

My Everyday Life: Week 44 on Shutterbean.com

Spoiled my family with Pumpkin Pecan Biscotti. 

Celebrate Pumpkin season with Pumpkin Pecan Biscotti with your morning coffee! Recipe on Shutterbean.com

Not food related, but I did clean up my cords and that makes me happy.

Have you ever wondered, "How Can I Keep my Cords Organized?" Tracy from Shutterbean shows you how with her resourceful cord organization system!

Trying my hardest not to eat all the Halloween candy.

October in my Bullet Journal:

October Self Portrait:

My Everyday Life: Week 44 on Shutterbean.com

How about you? How was your October? What are you looking forward to this November?

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  • Pepper

    I’m sure your Mom is still cheering you on… your blog is such a very beautiful space. Thank you for sharing that. Whenever I’m having a terrible day your vibe and beautiful photos help inspire me. I hope you’ll keep on sharing for the long haul!

  • jen

    I LOVE THIS ENTIRE POST.
    I so feel you on the mom stuff -except mine is dad stuff. 🙂
    You inspire me in so many ways – all the way back to the podcast days!
    My daughter is 9 1/2 and also an only child, so its been fun to see Cooper grow and see the similarities in raising children of this age in this time we live in.

    That’s all! I just wanted to send some love your way today. 🙂

    • Tracy

      What a weird time to raise a child, right?
      Thank you for the love, Jen! I really appreciate you taking the time to write!

  • Christine

    thank you so much for sharing. i know losing your mom is hard. i lost my mom too. your creativity inspires me.

    • Tracy

      thank you, Christine. I’m sorry for your loss. Creativity is keeping me alive and sane! I am glad that it helps inspire you and others.

  • Libby Monaghan

    17 years ago (the day before my 18th birthday to be exact) was when my dad died. In October. One year ago we were in the hospital with my husband’s family as his grandfather battled for his life (he didn’t make it). I was actually sitting in the ICU when I saw your instagram posts where you, too, were in a waiting room. It felt like we were going through this unexpected, impossible thing together. And I’m grateful for the way that you are so open about your grief. It’s so real. It’s such an enormous part of life and we try to rush it along or sweep it under the rug.
    But not one day goes by that I don’t actively think about my dad. I’m still grieving and I will be forever. Anne Lamott says it’s like when your leg breaks and eventually it will heal but you might always dance with a limp.

    Fall is hard. I smell these familiar smells that were around when we went through a tragedy and my body braces for another one–sometimes it even happens.

    I don’t want to wrap this up into something tidy because it doesn’t feel tidy. Just, thank you for listening to the thing inside of you that tells you to share. <3

    • Tracy

      Thank you for sharing that, Libby. It must have been very traumatic losing your father at such a young age. It’s good to know that even after all this time, you still think of your Father. I don’t ever want to lose the connection I had with my Mom and I feel like as long as I keep her in my thoughts, she’s always there.

      Your comment gave me a good cry. For that release, I am thankful!
      Sending you all the well wishes. xoxoxoxo

  • Pam

    I love, love, love these posts. The good, the sad, the real-ness of life. And somehow you find beauty in all of it <3

  • DeBorah Green

    A big day, election day, filled with anxiety. Feeling a little like a victim of PTSD until I read your thoughts. I’m breathing again and enjoying some stillness in my soul as a result.
    Thank you for that.

  • Kinsey Drake

    Tracy, you have an eye for detail and a talent for writing that makes me laugh, cry, and smile. You talk about your mom with such tenderness and love, and I can only imagine the pain and newness of this year–hugs to you for continuing to show your love for her on your blog and in your daily life. <3

  • Hillary

    I’ve been thinking you as November has dawned. Sending love and lots of light.

    Over here I’ve been:

    Reading – old scifi
    Eating – lentils and candy
    Listening – Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast brings me joy
    Creating – Jewish stars and hearts to be mailed to Pittsburgh
    Inspiring – Removing IG from my phone, getting comfortable with mess, taking less for granted.

    • Tracy

      Oh! I’d love to check out Pop Culture Happy Hour. Sounds like my kinda thing.
      Love that you are creating stars. What a productive way to send love. xo

  • Sara

    As always, thank-you for your blog. It just feels safe and inspiring and like a hug. I hate that you’re without your mom….. 🙁 Sending you prayers and love through this holiday season. And p.s.-I feel like you’ve shown me how being organized helps with creativity and life!

    • Tracy

      Thank you, Sara!
      Your comment made me giggle as I write this on my kitchen table that is UTTER CHAOS right now. Sometimes creativity is messy and unorganized 😉

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