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April 2, 2018

Currently: March 2018

Currently March 2018 on Shutterbean.com

Currently March 2018

March was kind of a doozy. We had a lot going on! So many emotions too. Birthdays, anniversaries (my parents would have had their 49th anniversary on the 16th). I’ve also just been feeling really low emotionally. I’ve had some major epiphanies this month. It’s now really sinking in that I’m the only female in my family. Also, my biggest advocate (my mom!) is gone so I’ve really had to figure out how to Mom myself.

There were a few things that happened this month that would have felt easier if I could have talked to my Mom about it. She was always there to listen and offer me solid, thoughtful advice. I wonder if I’ll ever find that intimacy level with anyone in my life again. So, that’s running in the back of my mind while I try to carry on with my work & life.

The warmer weather between the rainy days is giving me hope. I am grateful for sunshine!

Currently March 2018 on Shutterbean.com

Inspired By:

My Everyday Life: Week 13 on Shutterbean.com

Nice weather is inspiring me.  I’m daydreaming about sundresses and outdoor eating.

I am also really excited to hang out on my deck! I need to have some friends over to share it with.

I’ve been working on my garden, making plans/moving succulents around/replanting.

This is the time of year when I get random daisies all around our house and it fills me with excitement.

They’re SO CUTE.

My Everyday Life: Week 13 on Shutterbean.com

I also get to be around kids more often now that it’s baseball season and that’s always inspiring.

I love taking the time to color and draw with kids who love it just as I do!

It’s also a really good distraction for me because my Mom used to sit on the bleachers with me when Cooper played baseball and so it helps me not feel so sad.

My Everyday Life: Week 13 on Shutterbean.com

Watching:

We’ve been watching Love on Netflix. Close to finishing the first season. The writing is pretty funny. We’ve laughed a lot. I’m kind of excited we have two more seasons to go through.

Also watching on Netflix:

Chef’s Table, Ugly Delicious, Mind of a Chef

And we watched Downsizing. It was good, not GREAT. But I love Matt Damon so…

Reading:

Excited to work through my food rut with Pretty Delicious. All the kinds of food I want to eat. Healthy and indulgent! I hope that I can add something new to the meal rotation. We DESPERATELY NEED IT.

On my bedside- Chasing Slow. The internet is loud and neverending. My friend Erin wrote this amazing book about finding a better pace in this digital world. I appreciate the heck out of her.

Books checked out from the library:

On Edge

Kitchen Matters

Get your SH*T Together

Action Journal (for Cooper!)

Thinking About:

Might have an opportunity to teach a food photography class in New Mexico in the next year.  I’m excited because I really want to travel and see the country.  I think a trip to Santa Fe would do me some good!

Listening To:

This month I listened to a LOT of Aimee Mann. I have to work my way out of it because I think part of it is keeping my spirits low! Time to make a new peppy playlist for April.
Here’s what I listened to in March-

Dream Life:

I definitely think that I am dreaming of another time era. It’s kinda like an 80s vibe in my dream life.

I also had a dream this month that Casey was pregnant and I was like HOWWWWW?!!! WHAT??

Brains are weird.

Also, I don’t know if it’s because I read the book Active Dreaming but sometimes life feels like a dream. Especially now that I feel like my Mom is giving me signs all day long. #keepgriefweird.

Eating/Drinking:

Did some cooking this month! Baby steps getting out of my food rut!

This shrimp dish helped! It was a winner in my house.

Lemon Garlic Roasted Shrimp makes weeknight dinner making EASY. Find the recipe on Shutterbean.com!

Lemon Garlic Roasted Shrimp

French Onion Soup made with Chicken Stock! Find the recipe on Shutterbean.com

French Onion Soup

The broth was so good on this one. I ate leftovers without cheese and it was still so dang tasty.

Instant Pot Sweet & Sour Cabbage on Shutterbean.com

Instant Pot Sweet & Sour Cabbage

Was craving cabbage around St. Patrick’s Day!

My Everyday Life: Week 12 on Shutterbean.com

Everyday Pancakes

Always a favorite!

My Everyday Life: Week 11 on Shutterbean.com

Also made corned beef on St. Patrick’s Day! So festive!

 

Currently March 2018 on Shutterbean.com

Self Portrait:

Me in my thrifted coveralls!

My Everyday Life: Week 11 on Shutterbean.com

Grateful for:

My friends who check in on me during this transition time in my life. I am grateful to have a few really REALLY solid people in my life. It’s hard when you’re deep in grief and people move on with their lives and expect you to do the same. I’m trying!  I really am.

So with that, I’ll say Goodbye, March!

HELLO APRIL!

How about you? How was your March? Are you looking forward to anything in April?!!!

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  • Colleen

    Take your time girl.

  • Currently: March 2018 - Next Step News

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  • Megan

    You’re getting through every day and even trying to find ways to thrive in the midst of grief — you’re doing great. Sending warm hugs from TX. 🙂

  • Christina C

    Grief is weird, you are doing an amazing job getting though everyday! Your strength is infectious!

  • Christa

    Your strength with all you have been handed is so admirable, Tracy. You deserve all the grace in the world. Take good care <3

  • Maire

    Thank you for continuing to be so honest about your grief journey, and thank you for continuing to inspire your online community with your beautiful food and art and family! <3

  • Jen

    I just started watching Chef’s Table too! OMG It’s amazing. The way they film it and concentrate on food and technique is amazing. I’ve moved on to Chef’s Table France and before that I was watching the Great British Baking Show. That was fun.

  • Robin

    Gosh it’s all those little things that end up being the hardest. I wish your mom was still in the bleachers with you. Sending you a big squeeze.

  • Jenna

    Hi Tracy,
    I’ve been reading your blog for years now and this is my first comment. Just wanted you to know that I’m rooting for you. Your blog has been providing me with quiet, calm and inspiration for a very long time. Thank you, and wishing you more sunshine. xoxox

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