October 3, 2018

Currently: September 2018

Currently September 2018 on Shutterbean.com

Currently September 2018

Goodbye September, HELLO OCTOBER!

This month was a busy one. It also felt kinda long? We’re back into school. We’re into the swing of things! My brother and his wife moved to San Francisco. YAY!!!!!!!!!!! Cooper had a few baseball tournaments that took us away for a few weekends. I had quite a few social commitments, met my dad’s girlfriend and worked myself out of a funk.  Being around positive people HELPS.

My grief doesn’t take up as much space in my brain as it used to. But when it hits, IT HITS. One of the side effects of sharing my journey online is that I get a lot of messages from people dealing with a loss as well. I am so honored that I am able to help someone else’s journey by sharing mine. It’s just that sometimes I find myself pulled back into grief  (after having a period of feeling OK) when someone messages me about their grief.   It’s a good problem to have, I guess. Focusing on helping others helps.  We all need to be reminded that our life on this Earth is limited.  Let’s not waste it.

Currently September 2018 on Shutterbean.com

Inspired By:


Working online and being connected to social media can make me feel confused about being connected to reality. The more time I spend online, the more I feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Spending more time offline and connecting with others has been a really important shift in my life. We are in such a weird space with our country. A lot of people are hurting. A lot of trauma is resurfacing. Injustice prevails. Where is our anchor?

What I know for sure is that people are seeking connection.


Find a way to gather.

Have a meaningful conversation, even if it there’s potential for it to go south.

Protect/manage my energy with/for other people


No one will ever know if you need help if you never ask for it.

Use your voice.  Talk is therapy.

Sometimes saying something you’ve been carrying around in your brain out loud to a bunch of strangers can be liberating.

Events that shaped my month:

Went to an inner circle of women hosted by my friend Becca.

It was my first real inner circle!

My Everyday Life: Week 37 on Shutterbean.com

Finally met my friend Tammi in person in Pt. Reyes.

She has been a real gift in my life.

Our conversations about grief helped me move through a rough patch.

I am so thankful for her spirit.  My Mom would have really liked her, I’m sure.

I am inspired by her daily gratitude practice and how it has helped shape her sobriety.

Larkin   is   E L E C T R I C.  Our first meeting was at Candytopia. Her voice is one of a kind.

My Everyday Life: Week 36 on Shutterbean.com

Saying yes to gathering around firepits in pajamas with friends and cozy blankets.

Thank you, Lisa  & Nicole!

My Everyday Life: Week 39 on Shutterbean.com

Friday night wine & the McQueen documentary.

That movie messed my brain up for a bit.

My Everyday Life: Week 37 on Shutterbean.com

Baseball keeps us busy.

My Everyday Life: Week 38 on Shutterbean.com

Wine + food at Signorello on a Friday with Emma!

Also, I got back into Bullet Journaling this month. Started a new one and am loving the process again. I abandoned the journal for a clipboard and now like the fact that I can take the journal with me wherever I go instead of leaving the clipboard at home when I really need it.

You can read more about the Bullet Journal Classes I took with Skillshare here.

Take Bullet Journal Classes on Skillshare. Tracy from Shutterbean.com shares her favorite classes!


Better Call Saul– up to date! This show is better than Breaking Bad in my opinion.

Things we watched on Netflix this month:

OZARK– sad it’s over! We enjoyed our binge. Excited to see what develops next season. I am typing this without giving you any spoilers. Worry not.

Lady Gaga Five Foot Two– watched this last year a few months before my Mom died. Had it on in the background the other night while I was working. It made me start listening to the Joanne album again and I’m thankful for it.

McQueen- this one really messed with my brain as I said. The mind of an artist is complex. So much darkness comes with success. A true talent and visionary with a fascinating story.

AMY- Oof. This one was also heavy but I loved it. She had such a gift. I didn’t know much about her life before fame and what her path of success was like. Such a shame she didn’t get to spend more time here on Earth.

Dying to Know– A documentary about Tim Leary & Ram Dass. It was nice to time travel to the past and remember how different life was during their heyday.


How to Break Up with Your Phone   — reading it off and on.  Also working on finding a healthier balance with my phone/work/life practice.

-I have spent more time hanging out with people this month and we watched a lot of TV so I don’t have much time allocated to reading lately.

Thinking About:

Traveling to Santa Fe! I am going there for my friend’s wedding and I am so excited to have lady friend time with my friends Lisa & Andrea.

Listening To:

This album is keeping me sane.

This song has been my latest pump jam.

Dream Life:

I’ve been sleeping solidly. My brain is working out equations. Most of my dreams are dealing with logistics. How do things work?  I think I’m in Oregon/and grocery shopping in my dreams too.

I also have been dreaming that there’s a spirit in my room. I’m not sure if it’s really happening or if it’s just a dream but YEAH.


Lots of bread!

Made two loaves so far with a levain starter. Took a bread baking class with my sister at The Civic Kitchen.

My Everyday Life: Week 39 on Shutterbean.com

Made my mom’s lemon chicken and her salad for my dad’s girlfriend. Life is so weird!

My Everyday Life: Week 38 on Shutterbean.com

And then I made sausage soup in the same week!

My Everyday Life: Week 39 on Shutterbean.com

Put Lemon Garlic Roasted Shrimp into the rotation!

My Everyday Life: Week 39 on Shutterbean.com

Goat cheese & Spinach pasta for weeknight dinnering.

Creamy Goat Cheese and Spinach Pasta is a snap to put together on a weeknight. The sauce is made creamy with goat cheese and pasta water. Recipe on Shutterbean.com!

Crispy Italian Fries FTW!

Want to impress dinner guests? Make these crispy Italian Fries! A combination of melted cheese and Italian herbs will level up your baked oven fry game. Recipe on Shutterbean.com!

My bro brought me over this loot from his garden!

My Everyday Life: Week 38 on Shutterbean.com

Cousin Josh came up from San Diego to spend time with us.

I made him Baked Spaghetti. 

My Everyday Life: Week 38 on Shutterbean.com

Had a few dinners with my family in the city. This salad at Il Pollaio was one of my favorites.

My Everyday Life: Week 36 on Shutterbean.com

I also made my mom’s Pasta Fagioli soup.

Grief is the weirdest. It made me miss her and then also so happy.

My Everyday Life: Week 37 on Shutterbean.com

September Self Portrait:

My Everyday Life: Week 37 on Shutterbean.com

Look! I bring salads to potlucks!

Now it’s October and I have a 10 year old!


How was your September? What are you looking forward to this October?

  • Sina

    Isn’t Hello nasty such a good album?! I still love it, after all those years. Also, it reminds me of a really vivid time in my life and I could use some of that spirit in my compared-to-that rather settled-down family life (not, that it isn’t “vivid”, it’s just so different…).
    Your pictures and words about a women’s inner circle and friendships made me think. I need more of this energy in my life!

    My September was turbulent and active – so much happening, also on the weekends. We got through the first weeks of school but I really need to balance things out if I’m going to work more. Otherwise I will be stuck with “family maintenance” which I love to do but I also need projects of my own… This whole process is still underway. Bullet journaling and yoga help!

    Thanks, Tracy, for your thoughts and inspiration! Sina

    • Tracy

      Hello Nasty is a good one for sure!
      We watched the music video the other day for Intergallatic Planetary and I remember how futuristic it seemed at the time. 2018 perspective is funny. LIFE!
      Family maintenance is a good term. I’m going to start using that. Enjoy your yoga practice. Much love!

  • Hillary

    What a month you have had. I can only imagine how hard it must be to meet your dad’s girlfriend. Even when we know that someone is bringing a person we love joy, it is hard not to feel trepidation. I hope that he is happy. Sharing your mom’s food is such a gift to them.

    And happy birthday to Cooper! I cannot believe he is ten. Sometimes I look back in your archives at your Everyday Life posts to see what he was like at the ages my sons are now (1.5 and 5). My dad always told me time went faster as you get older and he is right.

    Currently I am reading Catherine Newman’s book Catastrophic Happiness, listening to REM, eating turkey sandwiches, and watching Great British Baking Show because it brings me joy and peace.

    Peace to you, Tracy.

    • Tracy

      He is happy. That’s what matters to me most right now.
      I’m gonna put REM back in my mix now. Thank you for your words!

  • Alicia A

    September, mmmm……. sent off my oldest to college, so t have my soon to be 13yo daughter to groom. October I want it to be my sewing month and get scarves into the shop. I miss REM they shouldn’t have ended.

  • Gina

    Hi Tracy! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile but never posted. I just wanted to give you “big internet hugs”. I lost my Mom ten years ago unexpectedly and boy was that hard. It sucks! Some of your stories have reminded me about that time, especially the recipes. It’s happy but also sad.
    I totally love that you are listening to the Beastie Boys too, they are part of the soundtrack to my adolescence 🙂
    Have a great week and continue being true to you!

  • Megan Cooper

    Haha! Intergalactic shows up on several of my playlists [Keep it going keep it going keep it going FULL STEAM!] — it’ll get ya moving!

    That pasta e fagioli looks RIGHT! I was never a fan of beans when I was a kid, which is funny to me now because I want them in all the soups. I almost picked up sausage today to make your sausage + bean soup because I love it…but I was already making white chicken chili for dinner tonight and my house would be done with me.

    My youngest turns 10 in November. It’s a trip, right? Wishing you a terrific October!!

  • Kathy

    I have a 22 year old, and that never fails to amaze me. my one and only. My boo.
    He is 6’-2” – what!?!
    Enjoy that baseball, I miss that the travel teams the most. High school and college ball is fun, but it’s way too fraught.

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